Dj & Rynn's AntiValentine's Day Anime Crack Story
by djdragonfire
Summary: Ok, this is completely unrelated to Valentine's Day we just came up with the idea on that day and wrote it and 4:07 am that night early morning . Yeah, total crack and major insanity. Remember, you can't rape the willing!


Once upon a time, at 4:07 am one morning, two random rabbid crazed artists on unlabeled durgs they found in the back of the shelf in the laundry room decided to write a story....of pure crack...this is that stroy, enjoy and we do not take reponsibility on how messed up you mind may be after reading such a story as this one....have a nice day3

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Once upon an Anti-Valentines Day, characters from various animes had gatherd to avoid what new horrible fangirl made ideas, pictues, and storys were quicky rising over the world wide media known only as the internet. They had all gathers in a small house, located no were special in a place no one would ever think of checking, what better place than Missouri!

Topic of the evening was how to take care of certain fangirls that had been acting more violently than the rest and had recently been causing more trouble than needed. They had to be disposed of, and soon before all their pride was sent down the drain in a leaky boat down the river styx's port-a-potty. A mutual agreement was quickly formed that silent and forcful tactics would be the only way, for these two were heavily armed with mechanical pencils and an endless supply of caffinee induced ideas, thanks to a gas station being only a 5 minute walk away (2 minutes if frolicking) and the older of the two owning a debt card. Mmm caffinee... But unnoticed to the rest of the group, three deeply ruined souls imbodies as beautiful men left the group hellbent on murdering the two fangirls and painting the world red with their tainted blood.

"So, this is where they live?" Katana snarled.

"Fer tae momea' soon tae demons sha' be one wif tae soil on'e again, AAAAAAAAAMMMMMMMMMMMMEEEEEEEEEEN!!!!" Anderson snickered as he dramatically posed and swung his gleaming bayonetes in the moonlit night.

"DAMNIT YOU VATICAN WHIPPING DOG! WATCH WHERE YOU SWING THOSE CHILDRENS PLAY THINGS! FOR ONCE I AM NOT WHO YOU SHOULD BE FIGHTING RIGHT NOW! Shall we call a truce for the time being untill these pests have been silenced?"

"Aye...Truse"

"DId I ever tell you that the two of you are a pain in my ass..." Katana sighed. "Their acts cannot go unpunished, it would be utter maddnes if we let them live"

"Ma'ness?" Anderson asked with curiousity.

"Madness." Alucard replied shortly.

"MA'NESS???" Screamed a frustrated Anderson.

"MADNESS!!" Alucard yelled back to him.

"THIS IS SPARTAAAAAAAAAAA!!!!!!Wait.... THIS IS REVENGE!!!!!" Katana joined in, allowing a rarely seen smile to grace his pale face.

Sadly this alerted the two crazed inside the worn out house to the danger that lurked outside in the yard. Armed only with a stenobook, mechanical pencils, and boundless imagination they ventured to gaze out of the kitchen window.

"Is that....are they....cound it really?" The younger of the two, Dj, stammerd as she fell over.

"Katana? in my lawn? Can I Rape him?" Rynn, the older,barely manager to mumble.

" No not outside....."Dj said, picking herself up, and then cackled, "Let them come in here. Quickly! Code... crap what was it? Code...... code............ dammit! I can't remeber it."

"CODE RAPE!!!!!!!!" Rynn suddenly screatched.

"Oh yeah, I'll get the leash." Dj hollered as she sprinted up the stairs.

Moments later Dj returned with a leash, industrial strength and guaranteed to hold even the most rabid of Rynn. She securely locked it in place around Rynn's neck and tied her to the computer desk and opens the front door.

The trio that set out for the bloodbath death saw the door opening.

" Ae' tho' fangir's jus' thae stupid?" Anderson chuckled meniacly.

"Well, they're fangirls, so who knows." Alucard replied, "But they just made our way in even easier."

Back in the house.......

"Hey, Rynn.... see them? Do ya? See Katana? You want 'im?" Dj taunted.

"Heh... yeah yeah RAPE!!!! Katana RAPE!!!! Heh heh heh RAPE!!!" Rynn howled.

Alucard was the first one to burst in the door. Guns loaded and cocked he looked around eager for the first kill. Anderson and Katana were a split second behind him. It was dark and all the lights were out. Everything was black except for two floating neon-green eyeballs, wide with insanity. There was a deathly quiet for what seemed like forever, then all Hell broke loose. The men's screams could be heard from miles away and the Rynn, frothing and screaming RAPE!!! tugged and pulled at her leash that she was bound to. Suddenly Dj appeared from behind the struggling Rynn, who desperate to break free.

"Hello gentlemen...." Dj drawled, "I see you you've met Rynn. She's not usually not like this, but I'm afraid, you, Katana, have provoked Rynn into her insane state of being."

"Bull shit, that's the craziest and most inhuman thing I've ever seen." Katana exploded.

"Usually she's very doscile, and quiet fun to be around." Dj added.

All three snorted disbelief.

"RAPE!!!!"

"Hold on Rynn, you'll get your chance."

"RAPE!!!!"

"So, what brings you three out here? Hmmm?"

"All the disgusting stories and pictures you've posted of all of us! And there are more of us, oh ho, so many more of us who want to slaughter you for the shame you've brought us! So, taste the last bit of air you'll ever breathe." Alucard snarled.

Alucard got out his Jackal and Joshua, Anderson his millions of bayonets, and Katana his gun. Then all of them at the same time lurched for Rynn and Dj. Rynn broke free of the computer desk and ran madly at the trio. Dj shortly behind her. It was an epic battle, the most epic battle to ever go down in fangirl history. Many screams were heard and much blood was shed. The rabid Rynn was taking on Katana and Anderson at the same time while Dj was facing Alucard, her own obsession.

"Dj, was that your name? You are a skilled human, actually more of a challenge then the Vatican slime." Alucard said smoothly.

Anderson could be heard in the background of "RAPE!", yelling, "Shut yer hole you peice o' shi' mutt. Whe' I'm done o'er 'ere, I'm comin' fer ta kill ya."

All of a sudden Dj GLOMPED Alucard with such an unknown force, he sailed past rabid Rynn and the others and cratered into the wall. He scrambled for his gun and shot Dj in the arm, just barely missing her heart. While at the same time, Rynn took on a ferocious form and was worse than before. So everything was swirling and wreckted or on fire, Rynn was now chasing all three around the house at sound barrier-breaking speeds. Alucard now running for his life with no hope of escape.

Rynn chased them outside and as they ran out into the road horrified, she stopped at the bottom of the portch because the restraint collar weilded by Dj would let her go no further. Katana upped a tree fearing for his life and sanity, which was quickly slipping and for not remembering to bring Zero, his mighty techode, he cursed himself.

"CAN I RAPE 'EM, CAN I RAPE 'EM? PLEASE??????"

"Woah, Rynn, easy. Heel!" Dj exclaimed.

Dj, using her bad arm to hold the leash, accidentally let go. Rynn bolted faster than you could blink, up that tree and and chased Katana down and around. She jumped on him and tackled him to the ground and began screaming RAPE!! RAPE!! and hugging him to the point where his ribs were cracking and snapping. Anderson throws hundreds of bayonets in an attempt to kill her and free Katana. Most of them landed in Rynn's back and after a few minutes of this the death grip on Katana took Rynn, and there was a pool of blood.

Dj, losing her secret weapon and her own strength due to loss of blood, slowed to the point where Alucard could catch her. He looked at her with a mocking and devilish smile and said, "You never could have won this. Even if you have the power of the fangirls, you're still human!!" Then he laughed and chomped down on her neck and drained her.

All three men stood together and sighed a sigh of relief, then the horde of angry

anime characters showed up in front of the house which the fangirls once resided. One asked what happened and the murderous trio gleefully explained. All of the characters rejoiced and they went to Baskin Robins to experience the new 31 flavours of ice cream.

END!!!!!!!(for now)

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WE ARE THE FANGIRLS RESURECTED BWAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA.... ha.....ha...eh?

Suddenly the door broke and all the unhappy anime characters in this and any future/past story filed in and glared daggers.

But this time we ran like sissy girls because it was 8:00 and we had spent 3 hours and 53 minutes typing this, just to waste your time. :D

And suddenly the writers were violently slain by half of the cast from hellsing, and one pissed off man-for-hire named Katana from an anime no one knows of(gad guard) and the angry horde.

Stay tuned for the next crack story: D the Male Prostitute.

Bai!

Crack by djdragonfire and RynnOfThCrimsonWings


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